Nightmares
by Tinderbox Lily
Summary: Basically a fluff-fic about Dean and Cas. May contain some semblances of plot, but mostly just Destiel. If slash offends you, prepare to be offended :P
1. Chapter 1

Dean had always expected the nightmares to end once the Apocalypse was over, but they didn't.

If anything things worsened, as since Castiel had become mortal and needed to sleep, Dean could no longer wake to see those quiet blue eyes calmly looking back at him. Now each time he awoke it was to terrible, stifling blackness.

Like the kind that is greeting him now. As Dean wakes from his third nightmare that night, his eyes automatically flicker around to try and catch sight of Cas' intent stare before he realises the angel is no longer awake.

"Dammit, Cas, why're you never here when I need you?"

"What makes you say that?" Cas says calmly, his gravel voice sounding surprisingly sleepy.

Dean yelps. "Jesus Christ, Cas! What have I told you about appearing suddenly?"

Cas laughs and doesn't bother to respond. Despite losing his Grace, the angel has mostly kept the same annoying angel habits as he had before.

Silence settles over the room, but it isn't the oppressive emptiness of before.

"Cas?"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you awake?"

"You could not sleep. After all that we have shared, I don't see why you should be alone in this now."

"Oh." Dean suddenly remembers seeing exhaustion written across the angel's face before now. "Then, the other times too...?"

"Yes."

Dean pauses awkwardly. "Um, well..." He clears his throat. "I mean, thanks."

Cas doesn't seem to mind the fact that Dean has been staring at the carpet the whole time he haltingly thanked him.

"Sleep well, Dean." Cas smiles softly.

And for the first time in weeks, he does.

And a part of him wonders if, just maybe, it was because Cas' small smile crept into his dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

The nightmares continue to haunt Dean, and almost every night Cas wakes up knowing he is needed. It makes Cas feel less useless to see the fear gradually disappear from Dean's hazel eyes as he talks with the ex-angel.

Things are going well, until they face a demon.

It is the first demon they have come across since the Apocalypse and they are slightly rusty, especially Castiel, who still doesn't really know how and when to defend himself in this weak human body. He breaks his arm.

Cas himself is fine, once he has overcome the pain, and they are soon back at the motel. But Dean is shaken up. Ever since nearly losing Sam to Lucifer, he has become even more protective of those he cares for, and he seems to realise with a shock that Cas, too, is now fragile.

Combined with the demon, this realisation gives Dean the worst nightmare he has had for a while. Cas knows there is something different as soon as he wakes up and sees Dean.

"Cas..." Dean croaks.

Cas instinctively moves to stand next to him and touches his shoulder lightly. "Dean, whatever you saw, you know it isn't real. You're safe, you're with me and Sam."

Dean nods and swallows thickly, but Cas can tell he is still shaken. He gently puts his arms around the hunter, and though he has to twist around awkwardly, he feels Dean relax into the hug and decides it's worth it.

They stay like that for a while, and it dawns on Cas that at some point, Dean has fallen asleep. He starts disentangling himself to return to his own bed, but Dean's arms tighten unconsciously so that Cas is effectively trapped.

Cas freezes, unsure whether to wake Dean up, or try and shuffle out of the firm embrace, or...

He catches sight of Dean's face, and it makes him decide immediately. Dark bags have settled heavily beneath the hunter's eyes, but his expression at the moment is calm, almost childlike in its innocence, and Cas cannot bear to disturb his peaceful sleep.

Slowly, he insinuates the two of them underneath the duvet into a more comfortable position, and then he too gradually drifts towards sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N So basically, I don't really understand fanfiction, and this is my first fic/story with a plot-line ever. As such it'd be kinda great if anyone could point out anything thats messed up in this ? I'm pretty sure I'm rubbish at characterization, plus corrections on slightly shaky grammar/spelling/anything else that I've missed...

* * *

Dean wakes first the next day, and is surprised to find Cas next to him.

He doesn't mind though; somehow, it feels right to have the angel snuggled close. He is about to get up when he realises that their legs are tangled together. Not wanting to disturb Cas' peaceful slumber, Dean decides to wait until Cas wakes before moving.

He doesnt have to wait long, as Cas is awake almost before Dean has decided to let him rest.

Cas stares at him sleepily, and Dean watches him, amused by this new side of him. There is an odd fluttery feeling twisting in Dean's stomach, but before he can properly take notice of it, Castiel's eyes widen and he starts babbling in a way entirely uncharacteristic of the ever composed angel.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to - I mean, you fell asleep, and I didn't want to wake you, and I just..."

Cas tails off, and looks at Dean meekly. "I know, Cas. Thanks," Dean laughs.

Relief colours Cas' eyes a lighter blue for a moment, until the door bursts open and Sam bounds in. "Guys, Bobby called, and..."

He takes in the scene and grins. "At last, I was beginning to think the two of you would never notice!"

Dean and Cas stare at him blankly, still too surprised for embarrassment. Sam's grin fades, and turns to a look of exasperation.

"Anyway, Bobby called and one of his friends asked if we could work a case for him."

Cas struggles off the bed with difficulty, and Dean groans. "Details?"

"Manhattan, and probably a werewolf."

Dean looks at Sam quickly, remembering their last experience with a werewolf, but Sam looks OK. He rolls out from under the covers and starts gathering his belongings. "And I was starting to kinda like it here!"

He is joking of course, but then remembering last night Dean realises that maybe he was getting more attached to the place. He looks over at Cas quickly, turning back just as fast when Castiel notices his gaze.

Sam watches this exchange and smirks in that particularly annoying way of his, but all he says is, "There's a diner nearby where we can have breakfast."

Dean's stomach growls at the suggestion. Swinging his hastily-packed bag over his shoulder, he leads the way out.

* * *

They eat quickly, and if Dean finds his eyes straying to Cas' lips a bit too often, well, that's just because he's wishing he'd ordered the same as Cas - that apple pie looks good.

If Cas catches himself watching Dean maybe more that he should, of course it's because he wants to be sure he has fully understood the human concept of 'eating'.

Neither notices Sam's small, satisfied smirk, and soon they have paid and are walking back to the car.

When they arrive at the black impala, both Cas and Dean are surprised to see Sam walk round and casually sit down in the back seat.

Cas frowns, confused. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, it's just that normally you ride shotgun, Sammy," Dean says.

"Oh right, of course. I just felt like a change, you know? More space back here."

Dean is momentarily nonplussed, then decides not to bother wasting time trying to comprehend Sam's twisted little-brother logic. "OK then. Cas?" He smiles as Cas slides carefully into the seat.

"You sure you're alright with this?" Cas asks.

"Oh yes," Sam says brightly. "It's absolutely perfect..."

Dean can almost hear the evil laugh behind those words, and years of experience with Sam's pranks tells him something is definitely going on.

But for now, there are more important things to think about. Cas' warm hand is so very near his, close enough to touch, and he's about to reach just that tiny bit further...

Suddenly, an abrupt realisation snaps Dean back to reality.

The fluttery feeling is back.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Bugger, I just realised the whole haven't done the disclaimer thingy. So I don't own Supernatural, never have done, and probably never will.

* * *

They are on the road all day, and stop at another motel later on. "Room for three," says Dean.

"Sorry, we're nearly full," The receptionist replies smugly. "We've only got a double and a single left."

"What?" Dean looks back at the other two, and glances at her name tag, deciding to try again.

"You sure about that, Cindy?" He smiles in the way that normally has women all over him. "'Me and my friends have been on the road all day, we're kinda looking forward to a good nights sleep,"

Cindy's smirk becomes even more self-satisfied. "Well then maybe you should try someplace else."

Dean frowns, exasperated. "Fine, we'll take them."

"Rooms 7 and 10." She dangles the keys, but Sam snatches them before Dean can, and lopes off down the corridor.

"Looks like you and me are gonna be sharing then," Dean remarks.

"Mmmm..." Cas replies vaguely.

* * *

The room is tiny.

Dean had planned on giving Cas the bed and sleeping on the floor, but there just isn't enough room. They will have to share the bed.

Strangely enough, Dean doesn't feel too annoyed about it. "Sorry, Cas," He says, realising guiltily that he isn't at all sorry. In fact, for some reason he's feeling much too pleased.

"Don't be," Cas replies, and Dean is pleased to note that Cas doesn't sound too unhappy about the situation either.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N - OK so this is a bit of a fail chapter, half of it being just pure fluff for the sake of fluff, but I'm procrastinating on HW and Reaally need to watch the concert movie 'Ladies and Gentlemen: The Rolling Stones' :)

* * *

When Cas opens his eyes the next morning, Dean's face is startlingly close, close enough to feel the hunter's breath on his face. Dean's arms are around him, holding him gently. It should feel weird, but for some reason, Cas feels safe and happy. He doesn't want to get up, doesn't want to move out of this warm embrace, and instead to simply stay like this and ignore the rest of the world.

Before he has time to think about why this is, he realises something. Forgetting all else Cas excitedly shakes Dean awake. "Dean. Dean!"

Dean blinks sleepily, and Cas nearly forgets what he was about to say, losing track of his train of thoughts at the sight of Dean's hazel eyes.

"Nnurghh..." Dean grunts inarticulately. "What is it, Cas?"

Cas snaps out of it, and continues happily. "Dean, you didn't wake up last night, right? _You didn't have any nightmares!"_

For a moment, Dean just stares blankly, and Castiel wonders whether it is too early to expect the hunter to think coherently.

"Oh, yeah, you're right," Dean says at last, standing abruptly. "Um, I'm gonna get dressed. We should get going, it's a full moon soon and no-one else needs to die."

_Huh?_ Cas wonders._ That wasn't the response I was expecting. _Dean seems almost... disappointed?

_No, can't be. _Shaking his head quickly to dispel the notion, Cas pulls his clothes on and follows Dean down the hall to wake Sam.

* * *

They are on the road again, and Cas and Sam are busily chatting about some boring geek stuff, leaving Dean to entertain himself. He turns up the music, blasting AC/DC as loudly as possible to try and get on their nerves, but it only succeeds in giving himself a headache. His mind wanders for a while, before coming to rest on the subject of Cas.

Castiel is... complicated.

Dean is never sure what Cas is feeling, and sometimes he thinks even the angel isn't entirely sure himself. And all of this bewilders Dean, so that by the end he is never completely sure about _anything_ where Cas is involved.

Annoyingly, Sam doesn't seem to have the same problem. He always looks knowing whenever Cas comes out with some oblique statement, while Dean has been in a world of his own from the moment Cas started speaking.

To be honest, it isn't even Dean's fault really, its just that Cas is so damn _distracting_. It's impossible to concentrate on anything else when he's staring right at you with those intense blue eyes. And that stupid tousled hair of his...

Dean thumps the steering wheel in frustration, remembering this morning. Cas and Sam look up with brief concern before going back to their conversation when he smiles tightly.

Its stupid and selfish and unfair to Cas, but part of Dean wants his nightmares to continue.

Of course, the nightmares are horrible at the time, but nothing Dean can't deal with._ And nothing I don't deserve after what I've done_. Besides, when he wakes up and sees Cas, none of it really matters.

As soon as he's thought it, Dean realises how wrong that sounds. This is Castiel, dense, earnest, naive angel of the Lord, and he shouldn't be feeling this way. It just doesn't make any sense.

None of it does. That stupid fluttery feeling. The fact he's unable to look away from that intense blue stare. The way all he wants sometimes is to curl up with Cas and just _be_.

Dean's everything starts and ends with Cas.

And just like that, he realises what everything means.

He realises that he, Dean Winchester, womanizer extraordinaire, is in love with another man.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I'm sorry! I was gonna write this on Sunday, since weekend = more time, but then I watched 5 hours of Led Zeppelin concerts on DVD so i couldn't.

* * *

By the time they arrive at Manhattan it is too late for lunch and too early for supper, so Sam decides they should start looking into the case immediately.

Of course, Dean isn't particularly pleased with this idea, but he acquiesces suspiciously quickly. He and Sam go to the police station posing as FBI agents, leaving Castiel at the motel as he is still hopeless at pretence.

Although he understands the logic, Cas still gets frustrated when this happens. On top of losing his 'angel mojo' as Dean calls it, he hasn't even gained any of the skills that come so easily to most humans, like deceit. Cas hates that he can never do anything to help Dean anymore.

However, there's nothing he can do about it, so Cas uses the time to drift around town, getting his bearings and keeping an eye out just in case.

Normally, he doesn't have any luck. However, as he wanders down an alley holding a cheeseburger for Dean, years of honed instinct come into use.

There's a ghost nearby.

Even if this isn't what they're looking for, Cas can feel the ghost's rage, and they should take care of it before it starts hurting people. Cas wants to take a closer look to be sure, but he hasn't the right weapons, and it would be stupid to go in defenseless now that he's human.

Sighing, Cas turns and heads back the way he came.

* * *

Although he isn't particularly looking forward to facing Cas in light of what he's discovered about his less-than-platonic feelings towards the angel, Dean is glad to leave the Police Station. Examining ripped up bodies really isn't his thing, especially when they're half rotting like that guy was.

Besides, something about the case doesn't quite fit. It makes sense for it to be a werewolf in all the details, except that apparently all the killings happened in the same place, a small alley off the main road in town.

Which doesn't necessarily prove it isn't a werewolf, but Dean just can't shake the feeling that something isn't right.*

Maybe he's just being paranoid, but Dean decides he needs to find Cas as soon as possible.

* * *

*Yeah, it was gonna be a werewolf but then I realised that i really didn't want to write a werewolf thing, 'cause it's always really sad when they have to kill the person, so i kinda changed it... Continuity fail. Again, sorry orz


	7. Chapter 7

A/N - OK, so I had planned to make the main focus of this story the relationship between Cas and Dean, (particularly the fluffy side of it,) but after reading 67impala's review, I decided I should probably have something happen, ideally something interesting and not over-in-a-moment or boring. I tried to do that in this chapter... Hopefully it didn't fail too badly.

Both this chapter and the next are dedicated to all the people who took the time to leave a review, especially 67impala for providing me with inspiration, and kyatariina, invisalite, and vampireluvr15 for plural reviews. THANK YOU!

* * *

"Cas, I freaking LOVE you!"

The angel looks pleased with himself as he watches Dean chow down on the cheeseburger. "Same to you. Anyway, I was wondering, are we sure this is a werewolf? When I bought your burger, I went down this backstreet called Veers Alley, and-"

"I knew there was something off about the case!" Dean crows. Sam gives him a look that says 'I'm ashamed to be related to you', but Dean decides that Sam's probably just jealous that his brother had noticed first.

"What do you think it is instead?" Sam asks.

"A ghost? It could be masquerading as a werewolf."

"Could be. Makes sense," Sam says. "I mean, this case isn't typical werewolf with the fixed location. It could be a ghost trying to fool hunters so that they aren't prepared."

"I went to the library, and there was a werewolf attack in this area a while ago." Cas announces. "Only one person was killed before a hunter destroyed the werewolf, and they died in Veers Alley."

"So what, are you saying that this ghost could be the person who was killed mimicking its killer?"

"Maybe."

"Hmmm... It goes against what we were told, but it could still be possible. I mean, we know that all ghosts are bound by the same restrictions, but they have myriad different styles of attack."

"Well then, what are we waiting for? Let's go check it out."

Cas nods, and sets off with Sam and Dean following.

* * *

Cas was right about it being a ghost.

"EMF's going nuts," Sam remarks as they walk along the alley.

"Cas, do you know who the victim was or where they were buried?" Dean breaks in.

Cas nods. "The victim was Sarah Parks, and she was buried in St Martin's Cemetery, not too far from here."

"Well then, lets go burn some bones."

Dean turns abruptly, and nearly walks straight into the ghost. It stares at him with pale gray eyes, before flickering and disappearing.

"Cas!" Dean yells. He whirls around to see the ghost claw at Cas, but being Cas, he is ready. He shoots rock salt at it and it vanishes.

Dean blows out a breath of relief. His heart is still racing, reminding him with a stab of guilt that he shouldn't feel this way. He doesn't normally get so het up about things, except where Cas is involved. He feels like he can't take any chances that might put Cas at risk.

While Dean loves Sammy enough to die for him, he still knows when it'll pay off to take a gamble. But when it comes to Cas, Dean is unwilling to let the angel out of his sight, even when it's just a routine hunt. And he can't even _imagine_ using him as bait for a trap, or something similar that he would do in a heartbeat were it anyone else.

Dean shudders at the idea of Cas in that sort of danger. _God dammit, this love shit is more messed up than I thought._

And then someone is calling out, and someone is pushing against him. Startled, Dean snaps out of his thoughts.

In time to see the ghost spiraling straight into Cas.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N - So, um, what I said about not ending the excitement too quickly... That failed.

* * *

When Cas opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is Dean. The hunter is slumped on a chair, fast asleep despite the bright sunlight streaming through the open curtains onto his face.

Cas sits up in confusion, and winces. He puts a hand to his chest and realises with some confusion that it is covered in bandages. Bringing his hand up to his eyes, he sees the bright red of fresh blood, and everything comes back to him.

Dean had been distracted for some reason, and had failed to notice when the ghost reappeared. Sam had been too far away to notice, let alone react, since he'd wandered further up the alley, and stupidly Cas had only loaded his gun with one round of rock salt. So he'd had to step in front of the ghost, bearing the brunt of its attack.

He quickly looks over to Dean to ensure he hadn't been hurt. From what he can see, the hunter is unharmed, if exhausted. Cas sighs in relief, and carefully sinks back onto his nest of pillows to wait.

Suddenly, Dean's eyes flash open. His gaze seeks out Cas', and then immediately darts away guiltily.

"I'm so sorry, Cas. It's my fault you got hurt."

"Huh? No, it isn't! It was my own fault, I should've-"

"No, you shouldn't! If I hadn't been thinking about- Well, that's not important. The thing is, you've only recently become human, and I should be helping you cope with it, not being an idiot and nearly getting you killed!"

"Dean, you don't have to feel responsible for me. I was - am - supposed to help _you_, not the other way round! Yet now that I'm mortal, I'm _useless._ What can I do, other than get in the way?"

Dean stares at Cas as if he has just said that the sky is green.

"How can you say you're useless? You were the one to notice that it wasn't a werewolf in the first place, you found out the identity of the ghost, and then on top of that you saved my life! Plus, even though you've lost your mojo, you still have more knowledge than any hunter. Hell, you know more about lore than all the hunters put together!"

Cas blinks.

"Oh... I never really thought of it like that..." He says hesitantly. "You really think... You really think that I can help you? And Sam?"

Dean nods fervently and opens his mouth to add something, when Sam suddenly bursts in.

"Am I interrupting anything?" He asks almost hopefully. They both shake their heads, and an expression of disappointment settles itself over Sam's features. He harrumphs and stalks out, pausing at the door to say, "Well, I've burnt the body, so let's go eat."

* * *

Cas realises something is wrong with Sam when they are driving back after eating that evening. He is quite proud that he has noticed it before Dean has, but then again Dean -

_Sam,_ Cas tells himself crossly. _What about Sam._

Sam is looking quite frustrated. Now that he's thinking about it, Sam has had that expression quite a few times recently.

"Is something wrong, Sam?" He asks.

Sam shoots a look at Dean, who is too busy singing tunelessly to Free to realise Cas said anything. "I'll explain later," he says, before muttering, "Since obviously you two are never gonna get it."

Cas leans back, mystified. What's he talking about?

* * *

"Hey Dean, me and Cas are just gonna go do some research, check out another possible case. We'll see you later, OK?" Sam lies casually.

Cas stares at him in surprise for a moment, before catching on. "Oh, um, yeah." He says fumblingly.

Dean looks sharply at them both. Cas is fidgeting awkwardly, and Sam's smile is slightly too innocent. But he doesn't really care what they're plotting at the moment. His gaze lingers briefly on Cas, and another flash of guilt pierces through him when Dean realises he was focussing on Cas' too-perfect lips.

He clears his throat. "Sure. I'm gonna get some sleep then. Wake me up when you find something."

"OK, see you soon then!"

Sam bounds off, dragging a bewildered Castiel. Left alone, Dean rolls onto the bed and switches on the TV, desperately flicking through channels to try and concentrate on anything other than Cas.

So far, it doesn't seem to be working.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N - So I read the reviews people left, and they were really helpful, so thank you! :)

* * *

Sam stops at the small car park out the back of the hotel and rounds on Cas.

"Cas, I know you're a little bit dense when it comes to these things, and I know that you're still adjusting to humanity, but surely you can't honestly be this slow? I mean, I'd expect it from Dean, but you're smarter than this."

Cas stares blankly. "What?"

"You and Dean. Think about it, isn't the way you feel about him different to how you feel about other people?"

"Of course." Cas says immediately. "What's your point?"

Sam's shoulders slump in exasperation. "You know, Dean isn't that special. It's not normal to feel that way about a person!"

"What, you mean..." Castiel looks at Sam in horror. "Am I... sick?"

"No, no, not at all! Well, you could say that you are, but..."

Cas watches Sam ponder the technicalities. "What's wrong with me?"

"I had wanted you to work it out for yourself, but maybe that's asking a little too much." Sam sighs. "Listen, Cas. You love Dean."

"Well, of course, but -"

"I mean, you are _in love_ with Dean! And I'm pretty sure he's in love with you too, so if you could just talk it out or something, that would be great because it's really getting rather annoying to have to watch you two gaze at each other longingly all the time."

Sam looks relieved now that he's explained, but Cas feels slightly scared.

"What?" He breathes.

He'd never even considered it before, but... It explains everything. All those times that would feel weird were it anyone but Dean, the strange feelings wherever Dean was involved, the way Dean is always on his mind...

"But... What am I going to do?"

Sam nearly laughs at how pathetically confused Cas looks, but holds it in. "Just tell him about it."

"But, what if he thinks its weird? I'm an angel! And I'm sure he prefers women."

"Trust me, Dean is as obviously in love with you as you are with him. Plus he's not really the type to care about the details, especially considering how close we came to the Apocalypse. He'll be living no regrets now that he's got his life again."

"But..."

"Tell him, or I will. It'll work out fine, Cas. I'll leave you to it for tonight, but if you haven't told him by the time I get back tomorrow, I'll have to explain for you."

Sam looks at him threateningly, and regretfully Cas realises that he doesn't have a choice. He watches Sam lope off into the night, and then he sighs and walks back to the room.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N - Sorry, this is a pretty short chapter orz

* * *

"Dean."

Dean looks up and jumps back immediately. "Christ, Cas, personal space!" _If you come so close, I might not be able to..._

"Ah, sorry." Cas steps back and continues staring silently.

"So anyway, um, I thought you and Sammy were off doing research?"

"No, we lied." Castiel says unrepentantly. "Sam wanted to explain something to me."

Dean waits as Cas shifts awkwardly.

"Sam pointed out... that I don't really see you as a friend anymore."

There is a hollow feeling in Dean's chest. "Oh."

Silence stretches endlessly.

"Why?" _God, does he know? What if that's why, what if he's disgusted by me now?_

"I don't know, I didn't understand the emotion until Sam explained."

_God, he knows. He knows._

"Do you... I mean, are you leaving? What are you going to do?" _What am __I__ going to do?_

Cas looks hurt, then asks hesitantly, "Do you want me to leave, then?"

"Well, no, but if you feel like this, wouldn't you prefer to be as far away from me as possible?"

"Oh..." Cas looks around desperately. "But what about Sam?"

"You don't want to leave Sam?" Dean says, feeling acid jealousy burn through him.

Cas shakes his head silently. "He is one of my closest friends."

Another wave of jealousy hits Dean, swiftly accompanied by guilt. It's not Sam's fault that he's closer to Cas, and Dean knows he shouldn't resent his little brother. "Well then, if you think you can bear it with me, I don't mind you staying."

"Thank you, Dean." Dean grunts non-committally, trying to get his emotions under control. He crawls into bed, and turns away from Cas to face the wall. It's petty, and he feels like a sulking kid, but at the moment Dean just doesn't care.

"Sleep well," Cas says, a halting echo of the words he had said so long ago, when Dean had first noticed the angel awake after his nightmare.

Dean doesn't reply. And not long after, he's trapped in the cold embrace of his worst nightmare yet.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N - Shockingly, something actually happens in this chapter :O

* * *

Dean wakes up panting in terror. His mind quickly flashes to Cas, but Dean ignores the thought. He leans his head on his knees and tries to think of anything but the dream.

It doesn't work.

Images from the dream flash persistently through his mind, and the harder he tries to push them out, the harder they push back. Eventually, Dean gives up, exhausted, and just lets the images take over. There's no point, nothing to fight for now that he's lost Cas' friendship. Digging his fingernails deep into his arm, Dean prepares to wait it out.

Suddenly, he feels a sigh, and a warm hand is covering his own, softly slipping between his hand and arm so that he can't hurt himself anymore.

"Cas?" He says in disbelief.

"Sorry." The hand starts to be withdrawn, but Dean selfishly clasps tighter. He knows that this gesture isn't real, that Cas still hates him, but for the moment that small contact in the dark feels like the best thing ever. It anchors him to reality, keeps away the horrific place of his dreams. And more importantly, it gives him some small hope that maybe Cas isn't entirely disgusted by him.

When Cas doesn't make to move again, the relief that washes over him is strong enough to push away the shadowy remnants of the nightmare.

They sit like that for a while, until eventually Cas squeezes Dean's hand gently, as if in question. Slowly, Dean raises his head to look at him.

Cas' head is tilted adorably, and his blue eyes are looking questioningly into Dean's.

"Thanks. And sorry for... For everything." Reluctantly, he lets go of Cas' hand. There is a short pause, then the bed dips slightly, and Dean looks up in confusion to see Cas sit beside him.

"Dean, there is something I do not understand."

"What is it?"

Cas pauses hesitantly, then slowly reaches out to brush his fingers against Dean's cheek. Instinctively, Dean leans into the soft touch.

"That."

Dean realises what he'd just done, and blushes profusely. Luckily, Cas continues without seeming to notice.

"In light of what I said earlier, I would have expected you to be more... Repulsed."

"Why should I be repulsed? Wouldn't you be more likely to feel like that?"

"What do you mean?"

Dean and Cas stare at each other, both completely confused.

"Let's start again. Yesterday, what were you trying to tell me?"

"That I no longer see you as a friend."

Dean feels a stab of white hot pain twist through him. Ignoring it, he ploughs on. "So why would I be repulsed when it's you that dislikes me?"

"What? Dean, you're misunderstanding me. I do like you, that's the problem! _I like you too much_!"


	12. Chapter 12

A/N2 - So my friend found this really awesome picture on dA, and she showed it to me, and I thought that some of you might wanna see it to even though it has no relevance to the story. Oh yeah, and it's not drawn by me (I find _stickmen_ challenging). Just take out the spaces: browse. deviantart. com/?order=24#/d3ckyrt

* * *

Cas can almost see relief wash over Dean, and for a moment hope flares up. Then he seems to realise the implication of Cas' statement, and his expression changes indecipherably as he asks, "You mean, you're in love with me?"

"Yes," Cas says quietly. "I'm sorry."

Dean laughs disbelievingly, and Cas has to stop himself from wincing.

"Cas..."

Suddenly, Dean is silent, as if he has lost the ability to convey the maelstrom of emotions whirling within him. He takes an unsure step closer to Cas, and Cas holds his breath anxiously.

Reaching out, Dean softly places his hand on Cas' cheek. He runs his fingers across the smooth skin of the angel's cheekbone before trailing down to ghost over his lips, and Cas' eyes involuntarily flutter shut at the feeling.

Gently, Dean lifts Cas' face and Cas is caught in those deep hazel eyes.

Cas is still confused, and doesn't know what emotion he can see swirling in the hunter's eyes. But he knows that Dean can read every feeling that flickers through Cas' own eyes, and although he wants to look away, to stop him from seeing the extent of Cas' love for him, he can't tear away from that absorbing gaze.

For a moment, they stay like that, each trapped by the other's eyes.

Then Dean pulls away slightly, and Cas feels a stab of loss.

"God dammit Cas, I don't deserve this. I don't deserve _you_!"

"Dean-"

"Dammit Cas, this isn't how it was supposed to be! You were meant to fall in love with some pretty, uncomplicated girl, and live the good life. Never have to be trapped with people like us, having to fight _monsters!_"

"Dean, just-"

"Last time we went on a hunt I nearly got you killed, remember? All because I was too distracted by trying not to let you be hurt again! Everything, _everything_ that is precious to me, I destroy. It's-"

"Just listen for once, Dean!"

Cas speaks quietly, but in his voice Dean can hear a trace of the authority Cas had when he was an angel, and he shuts up.

Cas leans his forehead against Dean's, and sighs quietly. Dean feels the small puff of air, and for a moment all he can think about is how close he is to Cas.

"You're not perfect, and you've made mistakes, but who hasn't? Look at me, look what I did to Anna..." Cas winces at the memory of his betrayal, and Dean has to stop himself from reaching out to hold him.

"But that doesn't mean you aren't worthy. Considering how much you have done, how many people you have saved, it is I who doesn't deserve your love!"

"Cas..."

"So unless this is just a protracted way of saying 'I'm sorry, I don't feel the same way,' then you need to rethink your opinion of yourself!"

By the time Cas finishes, his eyes are flashing righteously, and Dean can almost see the shadow of his wings behind him again. He smiles. "You're right. I'm sorry,"

"Right about which?" Cas asks, and for a moment panic flares up in his eyes. He catches his lower lip between his teeth and looks up worriedly. He looks so cute that it takes most of Dean's self restraint not to kiss him right now.

Dean's smile widens, and he leans forward so that their noses are almost touching. "Guess," he breathes.

And then he gently pulls the angel closer and presses his lips to his.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N - OK so this chapter failed slightly. A lot. I hate this chapter the most so far. I'm sorry.

* * *

It was just a small kiss, a chaste touch of the lips, but to Dean it is better than any kiss he'd had in his life. He is awed that such a simple thing could cause such an explosion of feelings as that which he is now experiencing.

Dean draws back, wanting to be sure that this is what Cas wants before he goes further, and his heart somersaults when he sees Cas' face.

Cas is looking up at Dean with such emotion whirling in his dark blue eyes. His mouth is slightly open in surprise, and a light blush colours his cheeks, deepening as Dean watches.

A new feeling wells up within Dean, one that is calm and love and definitely far too cliche to express.

"Dean..." Cas murmurs, reaching out shakily. Dean turns his face into Cas' hand and softly kisses its palm. His eyes are still locked on Cas', and he sees the wonder in the angel's eyes, as if he still can't believe this is reality.

Then Cas leans forward and kisses him, and it's so heart-stoppingly perfect that Dean can't think of anything else.

Cas' lips are warm and velvet soft. Dean threads his fingers through the angel's tousled hair to pull him closer, and Cas opens his mouth obediently. It's awkward and fumbling, and Cas obviously has no idea what he's doing, but Dean couldn't care less because it's _Cas_.

Too soon they break apart, breathing raggedly. Silence gradually settles over them, and for a while they just stay close, holding each other quietly.

Cas yawns.

At first Dean just smiles at how cute Cas looks when he scrunches up his face like that, but then he realises that they are both tired - it is about three o'clock, and neither of them have slept much recently. And who knows when they'll next get the chance?

"Come on, lets get some sleep."

Gently, he tugs Cas close and pulls the blanket over them both. Cas nuzzles into Dean's collarbone, and Dean can feel the warm puffs of air as the angel breathes. They even out slowly as the angel drifts further into sleep.

As Dean too succumbs to sleep, the last thing he feels is the unstoppable smile spreading across his face.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N - Well, here it is - the last chapter ever. First fic, done. I dunno what people thought of the ending (personally I thought there was something not quite right), but I just wanted to have Sam's reaction :) He's annoying, but so amusing... Many thanks to everyone who read and/or reviewed! It's been lovely to hear people's reactions, and I'm glad people have liked it.

* * *

When Cas first wakes up, he wonders whether he dreamed yesterday. Until suddenly coherent thought returns, which is when he notices Dean, holding him close and snoring softly.

The warmth that floods Cas when he realises it was all real is incredible. He smiles and contentedly dozes until Dean stirs and opens his eyes.

Dean goes through a similar thought process as Cas did when he first woke. Once he sees that Cas is awake, and that the angel's arms are still wrapped around Dean like he'll never let go, Dean suddenly knows what he wants to say.

Its so simple and so hard, but this is Cas, and Dean trusts him more than anything in the world. "Cas..."

"Hmmm?"

Dean takes a deep breath to prepare himself.

Just then Sam walks in. Dean jumps up awkwardly, but it is too late. Judging from the shock written across Sam's face, he's already seen.

_Oh._ This was not how Dean wanted to break it to Sam. "Sammy-"

"Cas? You mean, you actually did it? You actually _confessed?"_

Cas and Dean stare back at him with identical expressions of surprise.

Cas recovers first. "What else could I do? Didn't you say you were going to tell him yourself otherwise?"

"Well, yeah, but you didn't think I actually _meant_ it, did you? It's not like it's my choice whether you tell him!"

Cas' expression speaks for him.

Sam cocks his head. "Huh! So it worked out then? Otherwise I reckon you wouldn't be in this kind of position."

Dean finally manages to articulate his question. "Wait, Sammy, you mean you knew about this?"

Sam rolls his eyes. "No offence guys, but only an idiot wouldn't have. It's been obvious for ages!"

Cas and Dean both blush. "Yeah well, for ages there were bigger things to think about. I mean come on, there was a freaking _Apocalypse!"_

"Alright then. Oh, and if you wouldn't mind going back to Bobby's as soon as possible that would be great. There are cockroaches in my room, and since we don't need to stay here now that the ghost is dealt with, let's not, OK? So see you in 10."

With that, Sam strides out, leaving Cas and Dean staring after him in silent bewilderment.

This time too Cas is the first to break the silence. "So, um... What were you trying to tell me earlier? Before Sam came in?"

"Huh? Oh, right yeah." Dean clears his throat awkwardly. He can hardly believe it. He's never been one for talking about emotions, and here he is planning on deliberately inciting, of all things, a chick flick moment?

He decides to take the plunge. After all, he's been to Hell, stopped a bloody _Apocalypse_. It'd be ridiculous if he chickened out now.

"Well, you might have already realised this, but as Sammy said you are a little dense-" Cas huffs in mock indignation, prompting Dean to break off and drop a quick kiss on his nose. "-so I thought I should say it out straight. I love you, Cas."

Cas glances up at Dean in surprise. Smiling peacefully, he replies, "I love you too."

Dean looks into the angel's blue-sky eyes and knows that this means forever.

And there's nothing that could make him happier.


End file.
